Originally published on Forbes.com January 23, 2013
Get That Job! Nine Ways
To Interview With Confidence
by Louis Efron
We are born with complete confidence. My best proof is my 10-month-old
daughter. Her walk is shaky, she constantly falls down and she can’t really
communicate. Still, she never thinks twice about getting up again to try and
navigate across a room and interact with others.
She is not special in these behaviors. All healthy babies do the same
thing. They have not learned to lack confidence in their abilities, be nervous
when addressing others, or be anxious when all the attention is on them. Most
of us adults are not this lucky. We can remember past failures. We second-guess
ourselves. And, unfortunately, our learned lack of self-confidence is harmful
at the most important times in life, like interviewing for a job you want and
need.
To make matters worse, research shows that,
on average, interviewers reach final decisions about applicants in only four
minutes after meeting them. In this time there is little more to evaluate than
how you look and speak, how you carry yourself, and how you greeted the
interviewer, all clear clues of your level of self-confidence.
Being confident
from the moment you walk through the door will always give you a better chance
of landing the job. The good news is that self-confidence can be generated and
regained. Here’s how:
Power Posing
In Amy Cuddy’s video, Your BodyLanguage Shapes Who You Are, she asserts that not
only does body language affect how others see you, but how we see ourselves.
Her studies show that “power posing” – standing in a posture of confidence,
even when you don’t feel confident – affects your brain’s testosterone and
cortisol levels, and makes you feel more confident. Her research concludes that
changing your body positions does influence how others see you and even alters
your body chemistry.
Power Posing
before an interview – or before any event where you are in need of a confidence
boost – will greatly improve how you feel and appear to others.
The
Confidence Mirror
In a Radford University
publication, Behavioral Interviews: It’s Not What YouKnow, It’s What You Did, confidence is strongly correlated to attractiveness. Multiple studies
also conclude that “attractive” job candidates get more offers and make more money. Making yourself attractive during an interview with a comfortably
firm handshake, direct eye contact, good posture, relaxed but passionate
communication style, and a genuine smile will give you an edge over other
candidates.
Body
Positioning
You can
naturally adjust your body for confidence by asking, “If I was really
interested in what my interviewer was saying, how would I sit?” You will be
surprised how often you need to readjust your body and how much more confident
you feel afterwards.
Affective
Memory
As a theatre
director, I used a technique called Affective Memory to help my actors connect with their characters and
generate a consistent, real and confident performance. This process is a
central part of Method Acting, a system pioneered by the late Russian theatre
director and actor, Constantin Stanislavski, which requires actors to call on personal
memory details from a similar situation to those of their characters. Used with
positive personal experiences, this same technique can be effectively applied
to rehearsals for job interviews, especially when rehearsing for the critical
first four minutes.
Close your
eyes. Recall and experience a time you gave a firm and confident handshake. See
the eyes and face of a friendly and kind person you know or interviewed with
before. Hear their reassuring words. Feel the energy of a positive and
successful interview, meeting, or exchange you had in the past. Pay attention
to what your posture, breathing, and heartbeat were like. Rehearse and
experience this interview in your head, heart, and hands – live it.
Done
completely, this exercise will give you confidence for your upcoming interview
by connecting it to positive and successful experiences you have already had in
your life. You will no longer be walking into an unknown and perhaps scary
circumstance, but one you have successfully already experienced. In fact, if
done correctly, your mind will not be able to distinguish the difference
between the two.
Mastery
As you grow in
your career, knowledge, and expertise and have more successes in life, you will
naturally become more confident when interviewing. Experience and confidence
usually go hand in hand.
If you are
early in your career or short on the experience, knowledge, or successes you
need to feel fully confident for the job you are interviewing for, seek
assistance from relevant books, the web, training courses, and a mentor. Good
resources and a commitment to study will give you all the confidence you need.
Exercise
& Dress
Staying fit and
dressing appropriately for interviews are helpful practices. Both will give you
more confidence and regular exercise always provides you more energy and makes
you feel better about yourself.
Focus On The
Positives
We tend to
focus our energies on the negative things that happen to us. Despite buckets
full of positive experiences, it only takes one or two nasty comments to knock
someone off their horse. In fact, meanness is at the root of all confidence
issues. Being laughed at when you make a mistake, being harshly rejected by
someone you like, or being taunted on a schoolyard all play a part in a
person’s self-confidence. To overcome negative experiences in life, focus on
positive ones. Most people can count only a few really bad experiences in life,
while positive ones are abundant.
Even better,
extend this positivity to others. Dr.Maya Angelou once
said, “At the end of the day people won’t remember what you said or did, they
will remember how you made them feel.” We have the ability to give the gift of
confidence to everyone we meet by being constructive and kind in all our
interactions. I encourage you to be a champion of confidence for others. It not
only feels good and helps others, but gives you greater confidence as well.
Rewrite Your Self Talk
What are your
low confidence triggers when interviewing (e.g., entering the building, shaking
hands with your interviewer, sitting down to start the interview, starting to
speak, answering questions)? Write them down now. Then write down what you say
to yourself when these events occur and how it makes you feel. Cross out any
negative “self-talk” and re-write the statements in a positive and assertive
manner – a way that makes you feel confident and good about yourself when you
read and say them. Turn, “I will never get this job” into “I am the best person
for this job. This company needs me.”
Dr. Wayne Dyer, the renowned self-help guru advises, “If
you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” And
there lies the secret to how you reverse the impact of low confidence triggers
in your life.
By re-writing
your self-talk, you will change the way you feel and how you behave. Negative
self-talk will generate low self-confidence and self-esteem issues while
positive self-talk produces the opposite effect. Practice positive self-talk
throughout your life and your confidence levels will soar.
Be Present
The key to
confidence when interviewing is coming prepared and staying present, connected
and fully engaged in the process and what you need to convey about yourself.
Connect with your interviewer by providing helpful answers to questions and
being actively interested in what they have to say. The more focused you are on
what you trying to accomplish; the less room insecurities, nervousness, and
self-doubt will have to creep in.
For additional help and guidance, my new book How to Find a Job, Career and Life You Love (Second Edition) now available
on Amazon.com and other major on-line retailers. Also, check out my companion
recording, Surrender to Your Purpose – a
30-minute guided audio journey of deep relaxation
to help unleash life’s purpose and build confidence - available now on Amazon.com and
iTunes. This recording will help further
your journey towards a life of purpose, fulfillment and more happiness than you
ever imagined possible. For more information
about me, please visit my website at LouisEfron.com.
